Return of the light skinneds

My girlfriend called me this Friday to ask if I wanted to watch the games. Thinking it would be a night of chillaxing with my homie and a break from all the partying I'd been doing, I welcomed the idea, took a shower, got dressed, and headed out the door for the night that would become known as the invasion of the light skinneds.

I walked into the Sideline bar and it was packed! I was thinking.. "WOW! Look at all the men in one spot" when I caught one boy in particular looking at me. As we made eye contact it hit me that I knew this boy from somewhere but I couldn't place him for the life of me. Eventually he gestured for me to come but I don't play that and I told him to come over to me. If you can't tell by now I have MAJOR control issues but we'll discuss that some other time. Anyway, he walks over and I'm literally staring at this boy like "I KNOW YOU." So he starts smiling in my face and whispering sweet nothings all up and down the place while I'm standing there stuck. Suddenly the accent, the mannerisms, shoot.. the location hit me like a ton of bricks. I did know him and could finally say from where. Immediately after my epiphany he asked, "so what's your name sweetheart?" I responded THINKING he would pick up on it but this dummy starts to tell me his name. Of course I cut him off and said, "I know who you are. Your name is G." Looking all dumbfounded the light skinned asked me how I knew his name and I quickly responded by asking him if he had a friend named B (yes.. it's the same B as before.. you know the whack one). He says yes and points to B sitting at the table. Well dern... if the world isn't too damn small but what makes it yuckier is that G is the same boy that tried to talk to my friend only a few weeks before in the parking lot right outside and I made sure he remembered too (at least we can say he has good taste). Not wanting to be rude I walked over to say hi to B. Yes, I know.. I'm a b*tch for that one but hey.. it is what it is. So after I finished being a smart ass I walked away to go back with my girlfriend. These light skinned fools and the rest of their light skinned squad proceeded to follow me and my friend around the bar. This light skinned bastard even had the nerve to approach me and ask me why I hadn't called him back. I told him not to get me started and he had even more nerve to ask me if he could call me the next day to talk. About what? What could we possibly have to discuss? Your loserness? I'll pass.

Then out of nowhere one of my chocolate honey dips from college showed up. I gave him the biggest hug of life not realizing the light skinned mob was looking on from mere feet away. As I sat and attempted to catch up with him on our school days we were bombarded with ice glares from the Lite Brite Committee of Hateration (LBCH). Unpleasant to say the least. Next thing I know G approaches my girlfriend and tries to talk to her. Do you know what this ignorant bamma said to my friend?? "I know you've probably already heard about me..." Dude.. do you REALLY think I had time to sit there and talk to her about your simple behind? I don't think so. Light skinneds are just so full of themselves.. I swear. And to make it worse they're both SHORT light skinneds which is like a double negative... totally.

The only positive things that came out of that situation were the time I spent with my chica and bumping into the boy from college. Looking at him I wondered why we never got together. Shoot.. we even talked about it and it was the first time I admitted the truth. I hadn't gone out with him that one night because my friends told me he was a whore (and I believed them). He laughed and said he'd always known that but my "friends" were the real whores because they had all gone behind my back and tried to be with him. I wasn't surprised.

There are two morals to this story:
1. Stay away from short light skinned boys.. they are the devil
2. Check your friends.. they may be the devil too