*untitled*

I feel real D'Angelo-ish right now for not having a title for this posting. Don't worry.. I won't be standing nekkid in front of a camera for you to sit on the edge of the couch with your homies thinking you caught a glimpse of the goods...

Instead I'm baring my soul giving you a glimpse of my heart that is mourning the loss of a friend who I should have let go of a long time ago. It hurts because I don't know who she is anymore.. and sometimes I wonder if I ever knew. Anyway, enjoy:

Today my heart touched yesterday
Grabbed hold of it
And brought you to the forefront of my mind...

Straining to see the mental image of you
Blurred by dotted lines and ink stains
Where I'd tried to erase and rewrite you
In vain
Fragments lingered here and there
Occupying space that should be filled
With good intentions and people who believe in them
Too busy stuck in the gray matter of self absorbency
You don't see me standing here
Alone
My trust shattered
With a trail of depleted hope left behind
You never tried to pick up the pieces
But I still loved you only to realize
You've hated me all along

Today my heart touched yesterday
Let go of you
And took its place behind the promise of tomorrow

mismatch.com

I made a mistake. A huge mistake. And it cost me dearly. Let me explain...

Dating sucks. You go out, meet new people, get past the representative stage and then start all over again. If they say insanity is repeating the same thing expecting different results then lock me up NOW because I am officially out of my ever-loving mind!!

After deciding to put another Chi-town dud on permanent pause I walked over to my coworkers office to steal a chocolate under the guise of asking how her day was going. It's not like I really cared but I'm starting to think she strategically places the bowl of candy behind her so you have to stop and talk before getting the goods. Anyway, she was all chipper that day and by the grace of GAWD she had the bowl in front of her. Something was definitely up. I gave her the side eye and tried to swipe the candy while she was on a call but got the "wait one sec" finger and was doomed to enduring at least 10 minutes of random babble (note to self: I need to buy my own damn candy).

This is where it gets good. You know how there's a turning point in every situation where you hear something, your interest is piqued and you can either follow up on it or dismiss it. Well when she started telling me about this great guy she met I obviously wanted to know where. The sneaky little wench started talking about great conversations (kryptonite to most women), brunch at my favorite restaurants (kryptonite to my stomach), and all this other jazz that had me hype to know where in the world she met him. And then spilled it.. I had to ask her to repeat herself when she said *insert name of dating site here*. I was shocked, appalled, disgusted... and yet strangely intrigued. I mean, it couldn't be that bad right? I could see what people were about up front, learn their interests, yadda yadda yadda. Plus it's not like I've met anyone worth writing home about.. well, maybe one but that's only because he was a psycho. Either way, I decided to put some more thought into it. I mean, what did I have to lose...


Yeah well, I lost $59.95 and by some stroke of the devil I saw three people I've dated on said site. Needless to say I won't be back. What could have been a cute top or a great pair of shoes is now even more wasted url space in the land of fake-believe (aka the Internet).