Return of the light skinneds

My girlfriend called me this Friday to ask if I wanted to watch the games. Thinking it would be a night of chillaxing with my homie and a break from all the partying I'd been doing, I welcomed the idea, took a shower, got dressed, and headed out the door for the night that would become known as the invasion of the light skinneds.

I walked into the Sideline bar and it was packed! I was thinking.. "WOW! Look at all the men in one spot" when I caught one boy in particular looking at me. As we made eye contact it hit me that I knew this boy from somewhere but I couldn't place him for the life of me. Eventually he gestured for me to come but I don't play that and I told him to come over to me. If you can't tell by now I have MAJOR control issues but we'll discuss that some other time. Anyway, he walks over and I'm literally staring at this boy like "I KNOW YOU." So he starts smiling in my face and whispering sweet nothings all up and down the place while I'm standing there stuck. Suddenly the accent, the mannerisms, shoot.. the location hit me like a ton of bricks. I did know him and could finally say from where. Immediately after my epiphany he asked, "so what's your name sweetheart?" I responded THINKING he would pick up on it but this dummy starts to tell me his name. Of course I cut him off and said, "I know who you are. Your name is G." Looking all dumbfounded the light skinned asked me how I knew his name and I quickly responded by asking him if he had a friend named B (yes.. it's the same B as before.. you know the whack one). He says yes and points to B sitting at the table. Well dern... if the world isn't too damn small but what makes it yuckier is that G is the same boy that tried to talk to my friend only a few weeks before in the parking lot right outside and I made sure he remembered too (at least we can say he has good taste). Not wanting to be rude I walked over to say hi to B. Yes, I know.. I'm a b*tch for that one but hey.. it is what it is. So after I finished being a smart ass I walked away to go back with my girlfriend. These light skinned fools and the rest of their light skinned squad proceeded to follow me and my friend around the bar. This light skinned bastard even had the nerve to approach me and ask me why I hadn't called him back. I told him not to get me started and he had even more nerve to ask me if he could call me the next day to talk. About what? What could we possibly have to discuss? Your loserness? I'll pass.

Then out of nowhere one of my chocolate honey dips from college showed up. I gave him the biggest hug of life not realizing the light skinned mob was looking on from mere feet away. As I sat and attempted to catch up with him on our school days we were bombarded with ice glares from the Lite Brite Committee of Hateration (LBCH). Unpleasant to say the least. Next thing I know G approaches my girlfriend and tries to talk to her. Do you know what this ignorant bamma said to my friend?? "I know you've probably already heard about me..." Dude.. do you REALLY think I had time to sit there and talk to her about your simple behind? I don't think so. Light skinneds are just so full of themselves.. I swear. And to make it worse they're both SHORT light skinneds which is like a double negative... totally.

The only positive things that came out of that situation were the time I spent with my chica and bumping into the boy from college. Looking at him I wondered why we never got together. Shoot.. we even talked about it and it was the first time I admitted the truth. I hadn't gone out with him that one night because my friends told me he was a whore (and I believed them). He laughed and said he'd always known that but my "friends" were the real whores because they had all gone behind my back and tried to be with him. I wasn't surprised.

There are two morals to this story:
1. Stay away from short light skinned boys.. they are the devil
2. Check your friends.. they may be the devil too

I've been partying like a rockstar.. that's where I've been

So there's this dude. He takes pictures. At all the parties. I don't get him. Like really... I don't.

Everytime we're out he catches us off guard. It's like he reinvents himself or something because we never realize it's him until AFTER the picture has been taken. I mean, if you're gonna take a picture of me and plaster it all over the world wide web you should allow me to look at my picture. It's ME dammit! My image. My body. My smile. My lazy eye. My body is my trademark so that has to be some type of copyright infringement or something.. not allowing me to approve of myself in a picture and whatnot... *as if* (I should really look into this.. I think my basic human right to sexy pictures is being violated).

So anyway last night this dude takes a picture of us and as if on cue we ask to see the damn thing. He holds his camera tight, says "no" and hands us business cards. In that second we realize **drumroll please** "it's him" and just like the last time and the time before that I swear this will be the last time he will EVER snap a picture of all this caramel goodness. How dare he withhold my image from myself. How rude!

On another note.. I've had the most fun EVER this past week and it seems like it's only going to get better. First was my homeboy's party at Olive's (Happy Pre-Birthday Ray.. check out his website for all the crazysexyfly parties in DC ). Let me tell you right now that I had soo much FUN and I can't even begin to explain to you why. Don't you have those nights sometimes? But I felt bad because me being at his party meant me missing another one of my close homeboy's shindigs (Happy Birthday Marco!! Love you much *muah*) so I had to remix it and round the troops for a part deux last night at The Park.. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.. I was slizzered in every which way and was LOVING IT. I pop locked and dropped it, bent over touched my toes and I think I even did the tootsie roll.. THAT's how much fun I had.

Oh well. Back to the real world for the kid. School begins...

PS ~ Next stop.. KK's bday party. Why the heck do I love me some Gemini's?
PPS ~ Coming soon: The next episode of the anti-lightskinneds... the saga continues

Case of the light skinneds

Boys, boys, boys.. when will they EVER learn.

I decided to stop being so hard on them by giving B another chance. After our first outing I told myself that I didn't want to see him again but after much thought and contemplation I decided, why not? Why oh WHY do I do this to myself?

So I call him on Sunday to confirm our plans. I get the vm (go figure) and proceed to leave a message. Monday comes around still no return call but surprise, surprise.. I get a miscellaneous text message asking "how was your weekend?" You guessed right... I didn't respond. I figured it was a prelude to the call that was coming later. It never came. Tuesday (the day of our supposed date) comes and goes. NOTHING. This mothersucker sends me a text message on Wednesday saying "hey sweetie.. what happened to our date yesterday?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? First of all clear your mouth of the word sweetie because no parts of me or what I'm about to say to you are going to come anything close to being a delectable sweet savory taste to your senses. Second of all.. ARE YOU SERIOUS? A text message dude? You couldn't even have the decency to call me back? Nigro please. Try the next sista. Now do you all see why I don't like light skinneds? **AS IF**

Then, as if things couldn't get any worse, I hit the streets with my homegirl C-licious. I wanted to be in my bed more than anything but I went along for the ride. The more dudes spit their loose game, the more I wanted to curl up in my bed. This one dude.. I'll call him BJ.. proceeds to start talking to me. He's cool. We're laughing it up and I appreciate that he's helping me not be that stank girl standing in the club looking mad at the world who was ready to go before she got there (btw.. I was that chick last night). But anyway, we're laughing talking and then he tries to dance with me. I tell him I don't like dancing with other people (I don't). This fool had the audacity to say "This area is about relationships. It's all about who you know and I'm trying to help you out." Say WHAT now? Come again? I thought I hadn't heard him correctly and leaned in closer only for this fool to repeat it again. So me dancing with you is supposed to give me the "key to the city?" Repeat after me: "Nigro please!" I laughed and kept trying to move around him while signaling to my girl that I was 100% RET TO GO. Thankfully she caught on and we proceeded to deuce out but not before Mr. "I got the hook up" himself popped his booty on me. Ew. Don't you EVER as a grown man pop your booty. EVER. But then again.. he was light skinned. Could I really expect anything different?

I make me better

Today a friend of mine asked me what I thought the secret of happiness is. Here's what I said:

"After thinking about it I think that the key to happiness is knowing, understanding and being ourselves. So often we try to adapt to what other people expect or try to do what other people would (or would not) do and forget who we are as individuals. As a result we limit who WE are and become less satisfied with the representatives that we're introducing to the world because it's not us.. it's pieces of other people that we see and think will 'make us better' insead of trusting in who we are."

Little did she know another friend (like a little sister) of mine had not long before commented on some pictures I put up on facebook saying that was the happiest she'd seen me in a long time. As I thought about it I realized she was right. I hadn't been happy in a long time but I was finally embracing me, flaws and all, and the proof was right there in the pictures...