What NOT to do in Chicago

So I moved. I finally did it. Packed my bags and shipped myself to the midwest. How am I adjusting? Well. Something about being born and raised in Toronto must have made me immune to the cold (with the exception of sub zero temps that is). However, in the month-ish that I've been here I haven't developed the cure to my Kesi-ism mentality and have consequently learned a few valuable lessons along the way:

1. Don't get drunk at your company's holiday party thinking that you're the new girl and no one will remember you. This holds especially true if you're one of a handful of minorities at a firm. The truth is you stick out and people do remember you. So when you walk into the office on Monday morning with your head held high, remember to lower it just a bit. That senior guy you drunk babbled with wasn't that drunk. He remembers your conversation... do you?

2. Interstate drunk dialing is unacceptable.

3. Asking men for directions ultimately leads you to nowhere. In any capacity.

4. When some random guy in the street approaches you and tells you he wants a piece of that.. he's not talking about the pack of gum you just pulled out of your purse. True story: I'm walking home from work so I can change clothes before I head out to a concert when the 47 year old NON-virgin walks up and claims he wants "a piece." Random right? I decide "what the H.. I'll just give him a 'piece' of gum." No dice. Homeboy was talking about the other piece. Needless to say I immediately started walking faster.

Don't laugh! Actually, it's okay if you laugh because it's all hilarious to me and I'm sure this list will get longer as time goes on... In the meantime I'm just trying to make myself at "home" in the city :)